Total Drama - Survival of the Fittest
by KatieAmnesiaAndrews
Summary: "Hello to all of you fans of Total Drama! It's me, your favorite ever-loving host - Chris McLean! To announce; Season 5 of Total Drama is finally here! And it's the biggest season yet! With more drama than anyone can handle! It's a mega season with 37 episodes! 38 contestants! With the most exciting theme to date… SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!" Duncan/Courtney Bridgette/Geoff etc.


_**Note: All characters belong to Teletoon. I do not own Total Drama in any way, form or fashion. Thank you for flying Delta and enjoy your read.**_

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"Hello to all of you fans of Total Drama! It's me, your favorite ever-loving host - Chris McLean! To announce; Season 5 of Total Drama is finally here! And it's the biggest season yet! With more drama than anyone can handle! It's a mega season with 37 episodes! 38 contestants! With the most exciting theme to date…

SURVIVAL

OF THE

FITTEST!

**(Theme song plays)**

"Welcome back to Total Drama! We have returned to our island from the first and fourth season of Total Drama ," Chris said, gesturing behind him, "And after much cleaning, d-toxing, and government interference the island is finally back to it's luscious green state!" Chris mumbles to the camera out of the side of his mouth. "And don't tell anyone, but it's slightly more… Wild." ***wink***

After my unfortunate incident during the last episode," Chris continued, glaring with vehemence, "on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island, I have had to face trial for everything I've done on the show."

"It now pains me to say," he grimaced, "that I will no longer be able to threaten the contestants lives with the challenges, and I must spend more time ensuring safety precautions, due to court rulings. As much as I LOATHE these changes, I must follow the rules, or it will be sayonara to my glorious career." **Sniffs and wipes away imaginary tear.**

"But," he grinned evilly, "that doesn't mean these challenges will be any easier. Oh, no," he said gleefully, rubbing his hands together. "The fun has just begun! And I promise you," he whispered, leaning into the camera conspiratorially, "I will, have my revenge. HAHA! BWHAHA BWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA-" ***Stops suddenly*** Now on to our contestants!

Chris dramatically waves his hands and two large buses rumble into view.

"All of our lovely campers have been kidnapped from their houses, In the middle of the night. Heavily sedated and kept in their own private cubicle while driving, sailing and flying cross country, none of them has any idea where they are, and that the rest of the crew is here." Chris grinned. "So as you can imagine, they're all gonna be a little peeved when we let them out of the bus." (**Snickers)**

"Chef! Do us the courtesy of opening the doors!"

A big green bus pulls up and the doors slowly slide open.

"Our first contestant, that devious, scheming, Queen Bee… HEATHER!"

A groggy Heather, dressed in a black tank and matching shorts, stumbles out into the sunlight. She rubs her eyes sleepily. "Wha..? What? Where the heck am I? What's going – YOU!" She turns, suddenly alert, pointing a finger at Chris. "What have you done now you $%^#&^$%* stupid $#%&^#%& petty #$%^#%& stuck up #$^$%^% self-absorbed #$^#$%&!" she cried, shaking with rage.

"It's a pleasure to see you too, Heather! Heather's back after winning Total Drama World Tour! Will she take a second win? Or Will Alejandro drive her to distraction once more?"

"Wait… What?! Alejandro's here?! Oh my God! I have no makeup with me! AAAAAHHH! CHRIS! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!" She screeches dramatically as Chef pushes her away from the cameras.

"Next up, a competitor from season 1, the infamous psychopathic anger management monster… EVA!"

Eva came stomping down the bus stairs, dressed in a purple bra and matching sweats. "What the? Hey!" she exclaims, in her gravelly voice. "This isn't my front yard! Wait a minute… Chris?! ARGHH! Where am I you TV obsessed, pornographic python!" She snarls, menacingly advancing towards Chris only to have Chef block her way, and direct her out of view of the cameras.

"Eva hasn't had much luck so far, but will her luck turn? Will she be able to control her anger? And how many campers are going to try to attack me today?

Now we move on to introduce the King of the Sarcasm… NOAH!

Noah practically falls out of the bus, barely catching himself before doing a face plant. His shaggy brown hair was even longer than before, and he was wearing a white undershirt and grey boxers. He had, surprisingly enough, gotten his left ear pierced and was sporting a dark silver stud. He pushes the hair back from his eyes. "What in the..? Oh great. Let's see, Random dirty old cabins, way to early in the morning and cameras everywhere. It can only be the work of…" He turned, "Chris. Wonderful to see you." He said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Wonderful to see you too, Noah! Noah, hasn't had much luck getting into the finals yet, but will this be the year that Mr. Comeback finally gets to shine?"

"Blah, blah, blah, yes." Noah said impatiently. "That's all fine and dandy, but if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find a place to crash my sarcastic little ass." And with that, he trudged away.

"Ha-ha, always the comedian, Noah! Next we have our Loud and Proud, bootylicious one and only…. LESHAWNA!

Leshawna came stomping out of the bus, her hair poofed up in a giant Afro, and wearing her classic purple bra, thong, and cover up. "CHRIS!" bellowed Leshawana, storming determinedly towards him. "YOU SOME KINDA CRAZY, YOU BACK STABBING, BEHIND YO BACK, MAGGOT!? LESHAWNA DOES NOT APPRECIATE HAVING HER BEAUTY SLEEP INTERUPTED!" She got all up into Chris's face. "YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO, YOU SKINNY WHITE TRASH! AND IT BETTER BE GOOD!"

"Um, Chef?!" Chris squeaked. Chef comes up, puts her in a full nelson, and starts dragging away the still irate Leshawna. "I'll get you for this, White boy! You hear me Chris?! You are some dead White Trash!" she called shaking her fist.

"Whew, that was close!" said Chris, running his hand thru his perfectly immaculate hair. "Our next contestant is as loony as a loon! Crazy as can be, and belongs in a mental institution…. IZZY!"

"It only took 30 of our best interns to finally catch her and enough sedatives to put down a bull elephant. The interns should recover…" Chris smiles wickedly. "In a couple of Years." (**Laughs Maniacally**)

"Ooooh! I can evil laugh too!" Interjected Izzy, jumping down from the bus, wearing a light green and blue top and striped shorts. "Here, listen to Explosivo! (**Begins to laugh Maniacally with a Spanish accent.)**

"Uh, yeah…" Chris said, scratching his head. "You do that. CHEF! Get her outta here."

"Heheheheh! You will never take Explosivo alive! Catch me if you can!" She yelled bounding away. Chef growls and starts after her.

"Next up, that mentally distressed homeschooler, still desperately trying to be cool, finally recovered after months of rehab from his Gollum like state… EZEKIEL!

"Yo, yo!" called Ezekiel, stepping of the bus. He was wearing full white long johns, and had replaced his ridiculous hat with a white cap. Even in his pajamas he still had tons of bling on his fingers, toes and around his neck. "Hows it goin, my homies?" he said, crossing his arms gansta style.

"It's going fantastic, Zeke! Ezekiel hasn't been a very popular contestant on the show so far, perhaps this time he will be able to prove his worth!"

"Yo, you know it, eh!" He smiled, pumping his fist.

"Doubtful." Muttered Chris under his breath. "Moving on. Our next contestant is loud and feisty, never takes no for an answer, has sued this show on multiple occasions, and has been accused numerous times of having a pole up her uptight arse! Let's all welcome that crazy C.I.T… COURTNEY!"

"CHIRS MCLEAN! YOU ARE A DEAD MAN! Courtney stomps down the stairs shaking her fist. MY LAWYERS WILL EAT YOU ALIVE LIKE A PACK OF HUNGRY HYEANAS! She was wearing a green top that showed her stomach and matching short shorts. She had let her hair grow out to waist length, and most surprising of all, had gotten her belly button pierced.

"Wooh, looks like a certain delinquent had more affect on you then you'd like to admit!" Said Chris, pointing to her belly button and laughing. "He give you that piercing, or did you do after he left you?" He doubled over in laughter. "Oh, that's precious. Hey, Cameraman. Zoom in on Miss Princess's belly button! HHAHAHAHA!"

Courtney's face went beet red. She yowled animalisticly and tackled Chris, proceeding to try and rip out his hair. "Youuu go gurrll!" Cried Leshawna from the side.

"Ow! Get off me you bloody she-cat! CHEFFFFF!" Chris bellowed. "Come on, Courtney! I've got a time limit on this show you know! Ow! My beautiful hair!" He screeched.

"Our next contestant, OW! Everyone's favorite bad boy, OWWW! That wicked delinquent of, JESUS CHRIST! Many girlfriends…. DUNCAN!" he finally got out.

Courtney looked up with a shocked face. "Get off me Woman!" Chris growled.

Duncan stepped of the bus looking dazed. He groaned, rubbing his bruised head, courtesy of the 6 interns that tried to jump him at his house. Chris should have known better than to try to sneak up on a past criminal. You learn to listen for things nobody else does when you were being chased all the time. They finally got him, but he was proud to say it took 17 interns to do so. He looked around and suddenly froze when his eyes lighted on Courtney, who was still straddling Chris, and yanking his hair "…Princess?" He said, confused.

Courtney quickly jumped off of Chris. "Um, I… That is… Um." She said blushing furiously.

"Wow, Princess." Duncan said, grinning his trademark smirk. "Didn't know Chris was your type."

Courtney's eyes opened as wide as saucers. "You.. you!" she sputtered, trying to regain composure. "THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS WAS AT ALL!" She yelled, balling her fists by her sides. "You, you didn't hear the things he said to me." She said, sounding amazingly close to tears.

**Duncan's P.O.V**.

Duncan stared at her in surprise. The Courtney he knew would have screamed him to death for a comment like that. _"What is up with her?"_ he thought. His mind drifted away from the conversation as he studied her more closely. She looked older now, and if possible, even more beautiful. She had let her gorgeous mocha hair grow out and it looked fantastic. And, was that a… Belly piercing?! Duncan shook his head. She had changed so much over the two years he hadn't seen her. And as much as he hated to admit it, he had missed her a lot. Even with Gwen by his side. He suddenly noticed her staring, and wondered what was going through her head as well.

**Courtney's P.O.V**.

Courtney couldn't believe her eyes. If at all possible, that cheating son of a bitch had gotten even sexier. And shockers of all shock, he had let his hair grow out and the Mohawk was gone. The. Mohawk. Was. Gone. _"Oh my God."_ Thought Courtney. _"This is… is…. Oh my God." _Instead of the Mohawk, his hair was shaggy, and kind of spiked with green tips. He had also ditched the nose piercing, and the rest of his piercings were a dark gun metal instead of the original bright silver. He was even more buff and he looked like he had been working out. She could see every line and curve of him in his tight white boxers. She blushed self-consciously. _"Come on, Courtney!"_ she thought frustrated. _"You're over him! Totally!"_

"_**Yeah, right. That's why you're TOTALLY ogling him."**_ Said her inner voice.

"_I am not! As if I could still be attracted to that, cheating, lying, self centered-"_ She argued.

"_**You. Missed. Him. Admit it."**_ It insisted.

"_I will admit to no such thing, I don't-"_

"_**You still like him, you like him, you like-"**_ It chanted.

"SHUT UP!" Courtney exploded.

Duncan's eyebrow quirked up. "I didn't say anything, Princess."

Courtney rolled her eyes. "No, no, not you. Ugh. I didn't mean to say that out loud…" she said, trailing off.

"Talking to yourself? Me leaving must have undone you more than I thought." He smirked

Courtney's onyx eyes glared daggers. "Don't flatter yourself." She said primly, and walked away.

"_Dammit."_ Thought Duncan. _"Probably not the best thing to say. She still is such a priss, though. Gets under my skin so easily. Though I'd never let her know that."_

"Ugh." Moaned Chris from the ground. "So far Duncan has been very lucky, Ow, my back. In this competition, usually making it to the bitter end and has, Ooh, my head. Taken home one win. Will he be able to pull it off again? Will Courtney and him finally make up? Or maybe make out? And how will Gwen feel about all this? Stay tuned to find out…. Ooooow. MEDIC!"

"Subsequently," Chris continued, wobbling to his feet with two interns supporting him. "Is that evil, cunning, and extremely attractive…ALEJANDRO! ….Man, do I need an ice pack."

Alejandro confidently stepped of the plane. Unlike all of the other contestants, he looked fresh and well rested. Part of his hair was back and in a ponytail, and he was wearing light red boxers and a tight undershirt of grey. He looked completely healed from the volcano accident, the only signs of having been in it, were several long white scars.

"Chris." Alejandro almost purred. "A pleasure to see you again. Am I correct to assume you have brought us here for another set of challenges, and another chance at that fantastico million dollars?"

"No, I just brought you here for my own amusement, because I just love you freak show teenagers!" Chris said, sarcastically. "Of course you're here for money and challenges! This isn't soap opera, or a sitcom! Half killing you idiots is the only way to get ratings on this show. That, that and conflict." Chris winked deviously. "Why don't you say hello to Heather, Al?"

Alejandro quickly turned. "Heather?" he said, half nervous, half excited. Heather awkwardly stepped forward, one hand clenched around her middle and the other buried deep in her hair, as she nervously twists it.

"Um, uh, Ale- Alejandro." She faltered. "Um, Hello?"

"Mi Amore…" he murmured, moving towards her.

Heather blushed bright crimson. She looked down at the ground, trying to avoid meeting his eyes. "You, ah… You look a lot better than the last time I saw you." She said. "No more robot suit, huh?" She worriedly twisted her fingers.

"Heather. Mi chica… look at me." He tilted her chin up. "Look me in the eyes, mi flor."

She blushed even more red, but did what he asked; and looked him in the eye. Every one held their breath, as the two leaned in to one another, each turning their head to the side, slowly coming together, lips nearly touching…

"OKAAAAYYYYYY!" Yelled Chris, through an enormous megaphone. "This is still a kid's show people! Let's keep it that way! Save the mushy stuff for BEHIND the scenes!" Chris kept mumbling to himself. "Damn teenagers. They'll be even harder to control now that their 18." He brought the megaphone to his lips. "ALLLLLRIIIIGHT! Our next contestant is everyone's favorite party animal, whose vocabulary consists of "Dude and "Party!" Let's all welcome… GEOFF!

Geoff stepped off the bus, rubbing his eyes. He wore ripped Bermuda shorts, which looked like they hadn't been washed in a week. His face had a 5'oclock shadow and looked haggard and worn. His customary cowboy hat was tilted askew on his head. "Duuude!" he exclaimed, looking around. "Where am I?"

"Geoff is usually consider to be one of the good guys," Chris explained, "but after hosting his own television show, he showed us his darker side. Will this be the season that Geoff redeems himself? Or will he continue to be sadistic and cruel?"

"Woaaah! Chris, mann!" He walked over and gave Chris a slap on the back, who winced in annoyance. "Am I like, back on the show, dude? That's totally rad! Hey, Is that vanilla dolphin, surfer Malibu, Bridgey here yet? He queried, shading his eyes and looking around.

Chris winced. "No, Geoff. Your Girlfriend is not here yet. Now, get lost so I don't have to hear your ridiculous slang." He said, running his hand down his face.

Geoff looked down at his feet. "Yeah man, about that… Ya see… me and Bridge… we're not together anymore. It didn't work out, man. Yknow what I mean?" He pushed back his cowboy hat and looked at Chris with sad eyes. "She had dreams, dreams that didn't involve me, Dude. So we like, separated."

Several of the campers gasped and exchanged glances of to the side. Chris looked critically at Geoff. "That would explain the total lack of hygiene and lone wolf Rambo look, I suppose. Well, I hate to burst you bubble G, but I don't reaaalllly Care!

"Moving on!" Chris yelled, "The rattlesnake who no longer can rattle, the peacock who lost his feathers - JUSTIN!"

Justin calmly stepped off the bus. His hair was shorter than before, and he was wearing green boxers, and a white undershirt.

"Chris!" he exclaimed, looking around with shining eyes. "Am I back?! Is now finally the time to prove that I have worthiness beyond my good looks?!" he postured dramatically.

Chris rolled his eyes. "Originally Justin was only chosen for his looks. But after everyone discovered what a jerk he was, and he suffered injuries that ruined his looks, Justin fell in popularity. Will Justin redeem himself in the eyes of his teammates and the public? Will he finally make use of his long neglected brain? Stay tuned to find out, on Total Drama: Survival of the Fittest!

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

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**Authors note:** Hey! This is my first Fanfiction, so please leave any advice or major grammatical corrections. (I'm not very good with Grammar!) I'm going to try to post at least once every other month or every month depending on my homework workload. (Which I'm actually supposed to be doing right nowww... :D) I will introduce the rest of the characters next chapter and start the first challenge. This was kind've a teaser to see what people think! Also, please leave any ideas you might have for the characters, love triangles or challenges! Thanks a whole lot for reading! Byeeeee!


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